On the Art of Translation - Part I

For the past few days I have been reading four versions of Homer's Iliad. From reading different versions of the supposedly same work, I have learnt a lot about how language works, in particular the English language. I have also learnt that only true poets should do translations, not language scholars, because bad translations truly destroys what was a great work of art.

Here are the four translations:
1. Alexander Pope - an immortal poet, he translated the Iliad in early 18th century
2. Arthur S. Way - an obscure scholar, he translated the Iliad in late 19th century
3. Richmond Lattimore - a brilliant Greek professor, he translated the Iliad in the mid-20th century
4. Robert Fagles - a poet and literature professor still living, his versio of the Iliad appeared in 1990; it is the newest version as far as I know.

A quick comparison of one passage will show who is the greater poet. This passage is taken from Book III, when Helen and the elders of the Trojans survey the battlefield. Antenor is speaking, and he is describing the elegant speech of Odysseus.

Lattimore, whose translation is line-for-line, and hence is more accurate to the Greek words:
"But when he let the great voice go from his chest, and the words came
drifting down like the winter snows, then no other mortal
man beside could stand against Odysseus." (III, 221-223)

A.S. Way's translation, also line for line but rhymed, goes like this:
"But soon as the sound of his mighty voice from his deep chest rose,
And the storm of his fast-coming words like the drift of the wintertide snows,
Then no man might strive with Odysseus in counsel-rivalry..." (III, 221-223)

The modern Fagles translated the passage as the following:
"But when he let loose that great voice from his chest
and the words came piling on like a driving winter blizzard -
then no man alive could rival Odysseus!" (III, 267-269)

Finally, Pope's heroic couplet translation (strict iambic pentameter, rhyme at the end):
"But, when he speaks, what elocution flows!
Soft as the fleeces of descending snows
The copious accents fall, with easy art;
Melting they fall, and sink into the heart!" (III, 283-286)

One needs not to be super sensitive to see that Pope's translation is by far the best. And if we go with Lattimore's translation as the closest to literal translation, then Pope's translation also deviates the most. Several things can be noted in a comparison:
1. It seems that a translation works best if it deviates most from the original text without varying in meaning. In this sense, Pope really captures Homer's Greek poetic-spirit in English: this is the reason why literal translations do not work; the translator needs to have a complete understanding of both languages in order to translate not just the words and meanings, but also the spirit within. Pope and Fagle's sense of length, rhythm and meter in one line is a good example. A good english line should not be any longer than 12 syllables; most famous poems are like that (see Shakespeare and Milton, who almost always writes in 10 syllables verses); Lattimore and Way's lines are ridiculously long.
2. Specifically, in translating Homer, one has to keep in mind that Homer is to be chanted by a bard, just like Shakespearean plays to be performed. In this sense, Lattimore's literal translation is not as effective, even when it is measured up against Fagle's translation (let alone Pope's): try to chant the three lines outloud for both of them; you will find that Fagle's version works a lot better. Fagle's version has dramatic pauses and exclaimations, which very much more resembles human speech.
3. Translation shows just who is a true poet and who is not; undoubtedly, Pope is the champion here. Observe the restrictions each translator sets for himself: Lattimore is to be literal; Way is to be literal and rhyme; Fagles is to be dramatic, but otherwise no real technical restrictions; Pope has to satisfy the requirements of the heroic couplet. Pople, who has the most difficult restriction, turns out to be the one who is most effective. Compare how Way and Pope rhymes. Way's rhymes are just sad: "snows" and "rose" are not proper rhymes; Pope's "snows" and "flows" are proper rhymes. Furthermore, the perfect requirement of the heroic couplet is that one of the two words in the rhyme pair is a verb, and it should not only be mono-syllabic, but also on a strong accent. Pope's rhymes satisfy this. Also compare the meter of the lines by Pope and Way: Pope's lines are almost always iambic pentameter, like proper poetry; Way's meters are almost random - except for the rhyme, one can almost call that prose. Way's translation is an example of "bad poetry".
4. The spirit of poetry mentioned before also means knowing the limits of the liberties one can take. Pope's special treatment of the snow-metaphor is an exceptional example. Instead of like the others, who only mentions the snow as it is demanded by the literal text, Pope takes the liberty and extends it (and he does it beautifully too). While one can argue that this is not translation, but one has to remember that Homer is a chanting poet: he improvises as he goes along. I believe Homer, resting in the halls of Hades, will definitely approve of Pope's genius.

There are many passages in the poem which are worth noting, which shows the genius of both Pope and Fagles, but which I have no space or time to illustrate here. I will, however, conclude with two things: firstly, translation is similar to the transcription of music from one instrument to another; it demands the transcribor's understanding of both the notes and the nature of the instrument. A literal transcription of a Mozart symphony to piano two hands is not enough; one has to be creative at this art of transcription, like Webern's transcription of Bach's "musical offering"; secondly, while Pope's translation is undoubtedly the best, Fagle's translation is also worth reading - he does a lot of things that Pople could not have done with his strict insistence of the iambic pentameter pattern.

Pope's translation will always be the best, there is no doubt about that; Mr. Way's translation...I don't know. It would be worth your time if you have a lot of time...you will learn what bad poetry is, and I suppose that is also a constructive gain.